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 :DDDDDDDDDDDD

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Soooooooo?
Im not completely terrible.
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I should return to grade school.
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Ryan
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Title : Evolutionist.
Posts : 139
Join date : 2010-10-18
Age : 19

PostSubject: :DDDDDDDDDDDD   Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:49 am

Name: Ryan Victoria Lane Almond-Rock.

Age: 13/14 in feb.

Grade level : 8

Grade in English : (My last year english teacher was a REALLY hard marker, he gave me a b/b+ in the last term i got a A- But it was a 80, so i didnt really count it) So B+ average, If french counts its an A because thats what i write most of my stuff in, but i've started writing more in english and i think im getting better, i live in canada ontario so i wont be able to get any marks on a report card till march because our first one of the year is ONLY learning skills. So B+ In english A in French.

Stories: I have a few old ones on paper that were pretty good, in my opinion, i got good marks for them in english & i had a few short stories that were just used to show voice (side comments etc)
I think a few of them were something like : The boy who fell from the sky,Creatures living among us
and E.T.C.O the first & second one being ideas that started two of my animation series. one of which was canceled.

Why? : I would like to join because although im new to the forum more or less id LOVE to be a part of this team :) if it would open a little later when i got to know some of the members a little bit more, i would probably be a little more illegible, but i've been interested in writing for awhile now & never remember or have time cause i spend alot of time on the computer... so i can just write them on the computer now : ) it would be really cool if i got to join and i hope i do get picked, if not maybe next time or when i get a little better acquainted with the server , so far now i bid you adieu~

(Im working on a story now but)
Okay. So I LOOOOOOOOOVE writing, i dont have any examples up yet, since i mostly a french writer.
I go to a french school & study french poetry, liking much of the art of victor hugo.

I do like writing in english also, and have alot of stuff in the books stuffed in my closet.
I like writing Haiku, short stories, Poems and lots more that i cant think of right off the top of my head.

Ex: Something im just gonna come up with now

Haiku;

Leaves yellow then red,
Cold Winds like nostalgia,
season pass so fast.

Flowers that then wilt,
soft ice that falls from the skies,
trees that turn grey.

grass that grows greener,
flowers grow tall through the weeds,
sunshine rays glow bright.

Beachs, seas and sand,
saltwater sings your skin light,
warm sand through your toes.

Skies again grow dark,
a season cycle restarts,
life begins anew.

I think theres probably some verses that are more or less that 5/7 syllables but i tried to make it as precise as possible while using the rules ive been taugh in french.
Its really terrible & i probably make it longer if i had more time but it would be pretty cool if i got added,
even if im really terrible, im more of the poetry/nature/philosophy doer.



Last edited by Ryan on Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:45 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Ummm Req.)
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BadMSAnimator
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Age : 23
Location : United States/South Korea

PostSubject: Re: :DDDDDDDDDDDD   Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:59 am

Requirements are up. Update your application.

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Ryan
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Title : Evolutionist.
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Join date : 2010-10-18
Age : 19

PostSubject: Re: :DDDDDDDDDDDD   Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:38 am

kay its Updated!
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Uri
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PostSubject: Re: :DDDDDDDDDDDD   Wed Oct 20, 2010 2:34 pm

OMG! I say yes, I love Haiku's .D.
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Ryan
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Title : Evolutionist.
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Age : 19

PostSubject: Re: :DDDDDDDDDDDD   Thu Oct 21, 2010 4:23 am

Thanks : )
For what its worth,
http://mapleevolution.heavenforum.org/literature-f63/etco-t305.htm

This is just something i finished writing recently, i started some couple days ago, and just typed it on my computer from what was written on paper. im continuing it on my computer now :O.
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BadMSAnimator
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PostSubject: Re: :DDDDDDDDDDDD   Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:06 pm

Um, hi.

The first thing I noticed: Your grammar sucks. Maybe it's because I have high expectations, but if you're joining the Story Team, your grammar must be perfect 24/7.

TBH, I don't like poems or haikus or that crap (sorry). So I'll go straight to your "ETCO".

PS: For all the other applicants, be aware I'm grading apps this way.

Grammar:
-Bad. Well...not that bad, but bad. It's either great or sucks.
-I see several mistakes. That's..pretty much it. If you want true proofreading, PM me.

Storyline:
-Ah...needs a hook. Try to draw your reader in to read it.
-If he opened his eyes for the first time, that's should be when he was born. How does he know English already?
-Again, the grammar really makes me not want to read it, because it doesn't make sense.

Suspense:
-You actually did pretty well in this category.
-AGAIN, BETTER GRAMMAR.


Improve your grammar. Add a bit more suspense, and the storyline needs a bit more to it.
For now I say no. Better luck next time!

Please wait 24 hours before reapplying. Next time, I hope to see another story. Well, not hope, a bit of a requirement.

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PostSubject: Re: :DDDDDDDDDDDD   Today at 12:15 am

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